I go by the name of Heather. I am a junior at the University of Maine studying music. Family and friends mean the world to me and I don't know where I would be without them. I suffer from Bi-polar 2 disorder and ADHD. I'm finally coming to terms with my mental condition and am learning how to appreciate the life I was given.
Since I haven’t been on here in a while I thought I would fill you all in on where I’m at now. To start off I’ve gained a bunch of confidence this semester. Sometimes to the point of coming off as conceited. Honestly it doesn’t bother me because I love myself. I’m comfortable with my personality, my intelligence, my beauty, and my body. Boy problems are now a thing of the past. It’s bitchy to say this but sometimes I feel like I’m to good for the guys that try to get with me. It’s great to feel this way.
smoke so much smoke so much smoke so much green
Can you please hurry up and get here. I just want you to relieve me of my worries. :/
I’m pretty sure I broke some of my toes tonight
I just want my medication back so I don’t have these mood swings anymore and so I don’t go into mania when I get overwhelmed. I hate having a mood disorder!
Someone talk to me. bring me back to reality.
But these extremely painful pms cramps are killing me. Just moving puts me in pain. FUCK BEING A WOMAN!!!!!!
I think a big reason why I’m afraid to trust people is because I’ve never had a true best friend. I’ve had very close friends but no one has ever seen me as their number 1 friend who they trust the most and that’s why I’m scared to trust others. I’ve thought some people in the past were my best friends but they left me for their actual friends. It’s hard being lonely and having to put on a fake smile but honestly that’s all I can do to get me through life without allowing others the ability to hurt me.
I have the worst view on life. I go through everyday with a knot in my stomach because I know all good this end and that absolutely everyone who loves you will leave you eventually because unfortunately they’re mortal and they die. It’s nature and it’s painful. I’m terrified of the day I lose my parents, my siblings, everyone who has loves me and been with me through thick and thin. I won’t be able to function. This is why sometimes I think it would be easier to die before them because then I won’t have to see them leave me. But it’s selfish of me to leave them. This is where I am conflicted. Either way I’m going to be in pain. Life is just to much for me right now.