I go by the name of Heather. I am a junior at the University of Maine studying music. Family and friends mean the world to me and I don't know where I would be without them. I suffer from Bi-polar 2 disorder and ADHD. I'm finally coming to terms with my mental condition and am learning how to appreciate the life I was given.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
I think a big reason why I’m afraid to trust people is because I’ve never had a true best friend. I’ve had very close friends but no one has ever seen me as their number 1 friend who they trust the most and that’s why I’m scared to trust others. I’ve thought some people in the past were my best friends but they left me for their actual friends. It’s hard being lonely and having to put on a fake smile but honestly that’s all I can do to get me through life without allowing others the ability to hurt me.
Am I the only person who is depressed every single day for the most bizarre reasons?
I have the worst view on life. I go through everyday with a knot in my stomach because I know all good this end and that absolutely everyone who loves you will leave you eventually because unfortunately they’re mortal and they die. It’s nature and it’s painful. I’m terrified of the day I lose my parents, my siblings, everyone who has loves me and been with me through thick and thin. I won’t be able to function. This is why sometimes I think it would be easier to die before them because then I won’t have to see them leave me. But it’s selfish of me to leave them. This is where I am conflicted. Either way I’m going to be in pain. Life is just to much for me right now.
they are such a lovely thing :)
