I go by the name of Heather. I am a junior at the University of Maine studying music. Family and friends mean the world to me and I don't know where I would be without them. I suffer from Bi-polar 2 disorder and ADHD. I'm finally coming to terms with my mental condition and am learning how to appreciate the life I was given.

 

Is it just me

Or is it normal to get that pit in the stomach feeling after you say by to your family. I guess I’m just really close to my family and now that I go to school far away I get this heart breaking feeling inside when I have to say bye to everyone. I’m fine when I’m on my own and I don’t feel homesick when I’m back at school. It’s just when I have to say bye because now I don’t know when I will see them again. I would love to go back to see my cousins Evan and Alex graduate high school but I’ll already be a month in on my full time job and I don’t want to ask for days off so soon.

Maybe I just feel this way because I’ve been off my meds for a few days and won’t have any until the 17th. When I’m off them my emotions are all screwed up and weird and I feel things that I shouldn’t. For example I’ve hooked up with this kid a few times and we’ve been friends for a while and I’ve never had feelings for him before even when we first started hooking up but this last time I swear I thought I dept something but I know it’s just because my emotions are out of whack thanks to not having my medication.

Ugh I hate when my emotions are all heightened and Shit. It’s just not like me to have feelings.